Dear Trevor,

You are four years old today.  And just as I always do on you and your sister's birthdays I smiled, and laughed, and cried.  I always cry with each passing year simply because I love you so much, and know how quickly the sand is falling.

When we sat in the hallway and prayed as a family before bedtime tonight, you thanked God for your new Cars computer.  And new Batman toy.  And for the cinnamon rolls we had a breakfast.  Then when we said our last amens, you jumped up and exclaimed, "I have an idea!!  Group hug!!!," and pulled the four of us in for one.

That is so like you.

At four you are full of love and hugs and kisses.  You smother me with dozens of them a day.  I know this will someday change and those hugs and kisses will be a higher commodity, so I am cherishing the surplus now and trying to memorize every one.

You are still small enough to cuddle into this little ball on my lap.  But you are growing taller, and soon that will change too.  I love when you sit on my lap while I'm doing my Bible study or checking the computer,  or when we read a story or just talk.

Just a few minutes ago you cuddled up to me on the green chair.  You made me crack up doing an impression from the movie Monster's Inc.  You made me smile when you gave me a "smooch" as you call those big old kisses of yours.  And you made my heart swell when out of the blue you asked, for probably the hundredth time, "Why did Jesus die on the cross?," and then answered your own question.

Lately when we sit and talk about all of our favorites, when I get to the question about what is your favorite Bible story, that's what you say - Jesus dying on the cross.

I pray you will always love Jesus.  Genuinely.  Authentically.  With every bit of passion in your soul.  Because if you do, and you place Him first in your life, you will be amazed at what a work He will do in and through you.

I pray you will grow up to be a "Mighty Man of God" like we've been talking about at bedtime these days.  I pray you will be a husband and father like your daddy, and meet and marry a kind, wonderful girl who loves Jesus and will love you and your family the absolute best she can.

I hope you never lose that twinkle in your eye, or that mischievous grin that will probably get you both in and out of trouble, but that brings joy to so many around you.  I hope you will always laugh from your gut and find optimism and laughter in the world, no matter how gray the skies are around you.  I pray that you will grow up to be a man who is generously loving and kind and jolly and fun and full of energy and passion, just like you are now at age four.

You are such a gift, Trevor.  I have prayed for you fervently since the moment I knew you were growing inside of me, and promise to pray for you as long as I live.  And I also promise that life will not be perfect and neither will we, but that Daddy and I will do our absolute best to love you lavishly while raising you with the boundaries that will help protect you and shape you into a man of integrity.

It's a tough job sometimes.  There are days we fall short, and there will be more days when we miss the mark.  But my son, my handsome son with the smile that lights up the room, we promise to do our best.  Because you and Madi are the greatest gifts God has ever given us, and we want to be good stewards of every gift He entrusts to us.

I love you Trevor.  I love you and your sister so much that some days it hurts.  And sometimes, like now as I type the last words of this letter, it makes me cry.  But my love for you also makes me smile, and laugh, and experience joy after joy after joy after joy.

Happy birthday, dear son. May God's fingerprints be all over your life.

Lovingly,

Mommy