What Love Does

Four generations of women walked down that sunny hallway together, the two in the middle pushing the youngest and oldest along.  The oldest looked back from her wheelchair to the baby in the stroller and quipped, "See, when you get older you get to have a ride too!"

It was a cheerful moment as sunlight streamed through the windows, one that didn't tell the whole story of how dark shadows have fallen on the oldest mother's mind and how age is crippling her body.  Of the struggles and private pain her daughter has gone through as the roles have reversed over the past several years.  Or how the oldest mother now often refers to her daughter as "Momma."

It's an interesting thing, this matter of love.  When it is lived out it can be painful. Love doesn't just push wheelchairs and strollers down hallways, it has to push through the times in this life that seem unbearable. The times when you honestly aren't sure if you are going to make it. When you don't feel like you can do it.

Love, I have learned, often has to show up before the feelings do.

I am often concerned for what our world thinks love is.  In our fame and celebrity obsessed culture, I fear we have begun to think the red carpet has to be rolled out for us for every single thing we do.  That love has everything to do with "feeling" elevated, worthy, attractive, the center of attention, or whatever we desire to feel rather than being something we actually do.  That love supposedly has something to do with self-centered quotes and lists that are posted and reposted all over social media, instead of about laying down self for someone else.

Let me tell you, the real stuff of life and love is not found on the red carpet or internet memes.  It is found in the corridors of rehab facilities and hallways of homes.  It is found in the changing of diapers and Depends, in sickness and health, in adversity and prosperity, in families gathered around dinner tables and hospital beds, in laughing until you cry and laughing because if not, you are going to cry.

It is being willing to do hard and holy and humble and habitual things.

Being willing to do the mundane.

And eventually finding joy in it ~ or choosing joy when you can't seem to find it!

Love is generations embracing the beauty of life, but staying together in the pain of life.

Wrinkled hands holding onto fresh, new skin.

Husbands and wives holding onto each other in good times and bad.

Parents holding tight then gradually letting children go.

And one day children doing the same with parents.

This cycle of life, what a miraculous, beautiful, painful, amazing thing it is.  The collision of beauty and pain is what makes it all so very real.  We can't love without laughing and we can't love without hurting.

But in laughter and pain and all the in between, we can show up. Even if we have to show up before our feelings arrive. Choose love. Do hard things.  Lay ourselves down for someone else.  And not need credit for every single thing we do.  We can be willing to do the thankless work that needs to be done because we know this life, this unhemmed, complicated, beautiful life, is temporary.  So we must serve with eternity in mind.  And we must try to love like the Creator and Sustainer of our souls.  Like the Author of our lives.

The One who really knows of love as sacrifice.

That daughter, she washes her mother's feet on Saturdays.  She has done this on good days, and she has done this on the hard days when she didn't really feel like it because the challenges of a confused mind have caused frustration or conflict. Knelt low and washed those bent and arthritic feet simply so they will be clean and fresh, not knowing that all the while her own daughter has been watching and seeing glimpses of Jesus in this.  She has felt guilty on the hard days, not realizing she has taught her daughter an even greater lesson; that love perseveres, it pushes past feelings to action and serving, even bending low when many would walk away.

Now her daughter will teach this to her daughters.  And pray they teach this to their daughters.

So future generations will continue to walk down the halls of life together.

Christmas Joy On Christmas Eve

I've been reading through this book this season.

It was a gift from someone a few years ago and is full of Bible verses, stories, song lyrics, quotes, and interesting facts about Christmas.  It has been a treat to read!

I love the Christmas season.  Absolutely love it.  And one of the quotes from this book really captures how I feel about the celebration of our Savior's birth and the sheer wonder of it all.  I have read and reread it often.  It goes as follows...

"Christmas at its core is larger than life, grander than we can begin to comprehend.  We cannot even imagine the scenario - God, the Son, wrapping himself in human flesh and being born in a humble stable to parents of little worldly consequence.  Perhaps that's why Christmas never loses its wonder year after year.  The story simply cannot be taken in at once.  It takes a lifetime of Christmases, and even then we remain starstruck, still unable to understand fully what God has done for us, what He has given us.

This Christmas, hold nothing back.  Look up and hear the majestic angelic choir, look out into the night in search of the brilliant Christmas star.  Cherish every expression of Christmas love, joy, and peace - immersing yourself in the wonder if it all!  Don't worry about going overboard.  In a million lifetimes, you could not grow weary of it - it's a truly eternal story."

An eternal story it is.  Because it is about Jesus, the One who was and is and is to come.  And it is a truly joyful story - because Jesus is joy!  And He is hope, and peace, and rest, and laughter, and celebration, and sacrifice, and the ultimate love, and everything we could want or need.

I hope you allow yourself to fully enJOY the celebration and be completely captivated by the wonder!  Most of all, I hope you know Jesus, because He will change your life.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, wherever you are!

May it be meaningful and merry and wrapped in love!

Some Valentine Love

A few snapshots and sweet memories of Valentine's Week...

Jimmy surprised me with these lovely tulips at the beginning of the week and I so enjoyed these cheerful blooms!

Madi came home from her art club with this fun painting...

And Trevor came home from AWANA with this most precious list.

On Valentine's morning I had a small treat or two and a card for Madi and Trev at the breakfast table.  In Trevor's card I had asked him to be my Valentine.  I was curling Madi's hair when he came in with the card...he had answered my question with a yes!  

Melt my heart.

Off to school - the kids had picture day and got to dress out of uniform, and I taught music all day (in a dress with hearts on it, of course).

After work, Jimmy surprised me with a new outfit and bracelet.  He had laid it out on our bed with one of my favorite necklaces.  I was seriously impressed with what he picked out and his whole In Style Magazine type presentation!!  Cute.

We both had work and music lessons, but when we were done I used some shortcuts to make a quick dinner.  These frozen Phillips crab cakes were a taste of home!

My parents had taken the kids out for an early dinner, then gave us all some fun Valentine surprises!

Madi using her new straws she had gotten early that morning! 

Friday evening my parents kept the kids overnight and Jimmy and I headed out for some alone time.  We had a wonderfully relaxing, enjoyable evening together!  We ate a delicious meal and walked and talked and he listened to my heart.  

That is such a gift.

The weekend before had been filled some memorable quality family time.  We went to our first State Fair...

Madi and I enjoyed tea time at church!

Jimmy took Madi to the Daddy Daughter Dance...

And Trev and I had a double date with one of my friends and her son, who Trev adores.  

My dad has always said that one way to spell love is T-I-M-E.

Love has definitely been in the air.

I am grateful.

Thankful For The Gift Of Him

He auditioned me for a band in college.

That's how we met.

I came into the classroom at Liberty University wearing my Gap jeans and sweater vest like a good 90's girl, and played the keyboard and sang for a couple of young college guys including one long-haired seminary student.

When I left the room that seminary student's friend told him these words...

I think you're going to marry that girl.

A little over three years later he did.

And over fourteen years from that very first meeting, here I sit, gratefully his wife.

As I ponder Thanksgiving, I can't help but give thanks for Jimmy.

I was thinking today that as blessed I am with some excellent friendship and relationships, there is no friendship so deep as the one I share with my husband.

He is my very best friend.  He knows my heart, the deepest places, and protects it. We've shared years of long talks into the night, deepening the intimacy that grows over time.  There is so much sacred between us. I have confidence and trust in him like no other.

He thinks I'm beautiful.  No matter what.  I used to wonder what he saw certain days, but over time I realized that when he looks my way he simply sees me.  I've never once heard him utter a negative word about my appearance.  When he looks at me he sees from the inside out, into the heart of a girl he fell in love with.

His respectfulness runs deep and true.  He is committed to keeping his eyes and heart pure.  His integrity helps him lead our home well.  I trust him.

He gives up certain things.  I know he does.  There have been lots of material things he could have insisted upon through the years.  I know he is often the only guy in the room without various possessions.  But he sacrifices so we can give, so I can be home as much as I can with our children, so we can meet our shoestring budget, so that if there is extra we can enjoy a memory as a family or the kids can get something they need.  I don't tell him enough how much I admire him for not having to have the latest and greatest of everything that comes along, how he is making the greatest of investments into our family life.

I love that we have always had regular date nights and sometimes full date days.  I love that he sometimes surprises me by already lining up care for the kids and making plans.  I love that we have gotten away on overnight trips and mini vacations now and then, just the two of us.  I love that he takes Madi and Trev on dates.  I love all the places we've been and memories we've made together.

Jimmy loves God in a way you don't see too often anymore.  His faith is uncompromising; his walk is wise; his commitment clear.  He and his house will serve the Lord, even if they do so alone.

That is a strong foundation for a home.

I love our home.

I am so thankful.

This world is unsettled and the future is unclear, but my heart can rest knowing the man I love loves God and honors Him with each day.

We are not a perfect couple.  We have those days.  We have things we are still figuring out.

But what we share is special.

To be so intimately connected with someone spiritually, emotionally, physically, and relationally is a gift.

And that's easy to forget in the routine of day to day.

I don't want to forget.

It's easy not to see even the best gift when it is right in front of our eyes.

I don't want to miss the gift.  I want to thank the Giver.

God, you have so blessed us.  In the very best and even in the hardest times, we can see so evidently Your hand over us, Your blessing upon us.  You have grown us in so many ways since we met as college students.  Sometimes that growth has been exciting, other times it has been challenging.  But I praise you that as we've grown, we always end up having grown closer to You and to each other.  Thank You for meeting our needs, giving us strength, and giving us richly so much we have enjoyed. Thank You for our children.  Please help us to continue to make intentional investments into our marriage and family so this love will only grow richer and sweeter with time. Please help us remain unconditionally committed to You which will help us remain unconditionally committed to one another.  Marriage is such an amazing part of Your plan, a beautiful picture of Your love for us.  To enjoy marriage and family as we do is such a gift.  Thank you God for Jimmy.  May I honor and love him well.  Amen.

I (Heart) You Too

Late Thursday evening when the dust had settled from piano lessons, praise band practice, and a quick trip to Publix, we were getting the kids ready for bed and I finally had a chance to make my daily agenda and backpack check.  In Trevor's backpack I found a piece of paper folded like a card.  On the front were two words...

her book

On the left inside page it read...

I (HEART) YOU TOO

The right inside page simply stated...

For Mommy

He would later add the words From..Trevor.

Of course, my heart melted at this paper discovery and when I asked my tenderhearted son about it, he said he made it in center time because he loves me.

After giving him extra snuggles and tucking him in tight, I kept reflecting on that little handmade book.  What caught me most about it was the word too.  He didn't just say I (HEART) YOU.  He said I (HEART) YOU TOO. That three letter word communicates a profound implication.

He knows he is loved.

He is confident in Mommy's love, even while sitting at his little table at school.

He knows I loved him first.

He simply loves me back.

My heart found comfort in his knowing.

And I couldn't help but think of this verse in another Book I hold most dear.

I John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Am I confident in the knowing?

Because I am loved also.

I am loved deeply and sacrificially by the God of the universe.

And so are you.

The work is done.  He loved us first.

We simply need to love Him too.

What delight would the Father take if we took a moment to tell Him that we do?

How differently would we live if we lived with confidence in the knowing?

Trevor, you teach me something new every day.

You are my son, and my heart is pleased with you.

Your joy is contagious, your way with words unique, your insights profound.

P.S. I (heart) you too...

The Dance

I can't remember if it was last week or the week before, but I know it was a Wednesday morning.  As usual, I was up before anyone else and turned on some lights in the kitchen because these days the sun takes longer to rise.  In the dark of morning I spread peanut butter over his favorite soft cinnamon bread and poured a glass of orange juice so his breakfast would be ready and waiting.

Like every morning, I hated to wake him up.  He always looks so warm and comfortable, nestled in perfectly and enjoying the best of sleep.  If only I could let the sun wake him, but kindergarten calls so I must instead.  As for kindergarten, he is loving every minute, his eagerness exceeding any expectations I had for him.  God is faithfully answering the quiet prayers of a mother.

After he was uniform clad and mostly awake, he sat down at the table.  In quietness he ate his breakfast as a few shreds of light came through the window.  The day would be a cloudy one, so the morning was bathed in gray shadows.

I was scurrying about the house and the kitchen, doing the fast paced dance of motherhood that somehow gets a family out the door on time.  I was working at the counter after he finished his breakfast when he walked over to me and said simply, "That was good, Momma," and reached out his arms.  I scooped him up and for a moment the frenzy stopped, and suddenly the dance was sacred as I stood in the kitchen swaying back and forth, back and forth, silently holding a boy who will soon outgrow my arms but will always fit in the deepest places of my heart.

He held on tightly, and so did I, and then it was time once again to let go and release him into a world of learning and lunchboxes and all things new and exciting to his earnest little mind.

In the letting go my heart was somehow full.

And as summertime turns into autumn, I am reminded anew that seasons will always change...

There is a time for fast pace and a time for stillness...

That mornings sometimes begin in the dark and sometimes in the light, but every day is a gift...

And while the tempo and time may vary, when given the opportunity, 
always dance.

To Love, Cherish, Honor, Protect

This morning my heart feels extra grateful for my husband.

I find myself thinking of the many things I admire about him, and thanking God for Him.

Don't be fooled into thinking we have a "perfect" marriage.  No such union exists because no such person exists.  On our wedding day, my dad told us while performing our ceremony that an enduring marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.  Like any other couple with an enduring marriage, we have to work out our kinks.  Sometimes I have flat out taken him for granted.  Sometimes he has taken me for granted.  Sometimes we have had to weather life's storms together and it has not been easy.  Life is tough.  Being a grown up is stinking hard sometimes.

But we went out on a date Saturday night and the subject of the tragedy of so many broken marriages out there came up.  We were reminded again of our love and resolve to be committed to each other.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I said to him, "The thing is, we just can't let life get the best of us."

Because sadly, life gets the best of so many people.  But with Christ, life can be abundant!  In Him, our foundation can remain strong when our world is shaken.  In His strength, we can strive to love each other with sacrificial, enduring love.

I am grateful this morning to not just have a working, co-existing relationship with my husband (though admittedly there are moments in marriage that it can seem like all you do is pay bills, struggle to make ends meet, clean up the same messes, etc).  I am grateful that our hearts are knit together.  That we are one.  That we enjoy each other.

I am thankful that my husband honors what I do for him, our children, and the ministry.  He believes my contribution is of great value, even when much of society does not.

I am thankful that he is a hands on dad, and willingly allows me the occasional break in routine for refreshment when an opportunity arises.  I don't have to worry about our kids when I am able to get away; they are in good hands.

And one of the things I am most grateful for is that he nourishes and guards my heart.  Over the past few years, I have seen him fiercely seek to protect the tenderness of my heart when others have sought to destroy it.  He has cherished me and protected me in a harsh world.

So this morning I take a moment to gratefully honor Jimmy.  To tell him thank you.  To thank God for giving us to each other to share life together.  To recall our vows and stand strong for marriage.  To humbly ask God for continued grace, protection, and blessings on our marriage. And to encourage you to do the same for yours.

Two imperfect people who made an unconditional commitment.  But who made it before a perfect God. He is who is able to keep life from getting the best of us.

We praise Him and give Him this and every day.

Hebrews 13:4a (NLT)  Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to each other in marriage...

Valentine's Dinner and Love Overflowing...

Monday evening, I was blessed to be able to go out for a leisurely dinner date with my handsome Valentine.  We had a gift card I had been saving for our meal, and the kids were thrilled to spend the evening with one of their favorite sweeties from the youth group!

Earlier that day Madi and Jimmy had given me the gifts they had picked out together.  

This candle, since they know I love me some Red Velvet Cake...

And this beautiful picture for our home, with Joshua 24:15 on it. 

What a special surprise that was!

Tuesday morning the kids went to school with Valentines in hand.  I spent the morning in Pre-K helping serve up a special breakfast, and the afternoon in 1st grade for a cupcake buffet and Valentine exchange!

It was quite a day!  In between the parties, I baked Glazed Tea Cake for a special dessert.  I made this recipe at Christmas with peppermint extract and crushed candy canes and it was so delicious!  This time I stuck with the traditional almond extract and garnished each cake with a cherry heart.  The flavor to this cake is simple, and it would be lovely served at a shower or special occasion.  I found the recipe in my Cooking With Grace cookbook that is one of my absolute favorites.

Glazed Tea Cake

Heat oven to 350.  Grease and flour an 18x12 inch pan.  In bowl, combine 2 cups flour, 2 cups sugar, 1 tsp salt, and 1 tsp baking powder. Set aside.

In small saucepan combine 2 sticks butter and 1 cup water.  Bring to boil, stirring occasionally.

Add to flour mixture, stirring to combine.  Stir in 1/2 cup sour cream, 2 eggs, and 1 tsp almond extract.  

Pour in prepared pan and bake for 22-25 minutes (cake will be light in color).

Let cake cool, then prepare glaze.

For glaze: In medium saucepan, combine 1 stick butter and 1/4 cup milk.  Bring to boil stirring occasionally.

Remove from heat and whisk in 1/2 tsp almond extract and 3 cups powdered sugar.  Spread over tea cake.  Cut into squares, garnish if desired, and serve.

(I added a drop of red food coloring to make the glaze light pink.)

After school I taught my piano and vocal lessons, and then served my family up a Valentine's dinner at home!!  This was more affordable than going out, and kept us from having to fight the crowds and stay out too late on what had already been a very busy school day.

I mixed china and crystal with paper goods found at Walmart!

Everyone got a serving of grapes in these darling Candy Heart cups...

More fresh strawberries were served in small, heart shaped bowls...

Since the heart shaped breadsticks worked so well at Saturday's breakfast, I decided to make them again!  

We had steamed broccoli and kid-friendly green beans...

And heart shaped pasta that my friend Laurie sent me in my fun package!  This was perfect for our main course since I needed to get dinner ready in a hurry after an afternoon full of lessons.

I used a jar of alfredo sauce with a little tomato paste mixed in to give it a pink tint...

And it was both adorable and tasty!

We sipped on sparkling grape juice in crystal goblets...

And just before I served up dinner, my mom gave me this special gift.  We had spied this a month or so ago when we were out for lunch.  It is a vase within a chalkboard - just imagine the possibilities! How thoughtful of her to remember this, it was the perfect Valentine treat!  Madi wrote a message for me and it adorned our Valentine table.

I truly enjoy Valentine's Day!  Celebrating those you love is a good thing to do all year long, and this holiday comes with lots of inspiration and fun ideas to do just that!

I love my husband. My kids.  My parents.  My friends.  My family. My church family.  And above all, I love God who has blessed me with such wonderful people to love, and is the ultimate giver of love.  He gave us Jesus!  And there is no greater love than the love He showed to us on the cross.  My love for my Savior fills my heart and just has to overflow! He is my reason to live and love well.